SEVEN LAWS OF THE LEARNER #2


LAW OF EXPECTATION: Expect the best

Seven Expectation Maxims
  1. Expectations exist in everyone about everything all the time.

    The problem is reality. We live on earth with sinful people.

    Disappointment » Discouragement » Disillusionment » Despair
    Disappointment occurs when reality does not match expectation
    Discouragement sets in when reality does not change over time
    Disillusionment is seeing a reality that you don't like ... no longer believe in "fairy tale" (illusion)
    Despair sets in when there is the loss of all hope that reality will NEVER meet expectation
    Acknowledging this and working through the reality of your expectations helps you to adjust where necessary.

  2. Expectations impact ourselves and others.

  3. Expectations are rooted in the past, influence the present, and therefore impact the future.

    Sources of expectation:

    1. Recognition: You see someone and expect something - “that person is obviously ...”

    2. Reputation: Someone tells you about a person whom you have never met.

    3. Record: A file telling you how someone has done in the past.

    4. Relationship: Get to know someone and you expect certain behavior - this has the potential to correct the above (a) to (c)

  4. Expectations are exposed through our attitudes and actions.

  5. Expectations influence the future whether stated or unstated.

    You receive what you expect. Both he who expects great things of others and he who expects little, will receive what he expects.

  6. Expectations impair others if set too low or too high for too long.

    Unrealistic high expectations might leave the person feeling like a failure while too low expectations may cause a person to lose interest and he underachieves. Expectations need to be realistic and precise. The teacher should influence his students learning and behavior by adjusting expectations.

  7. Expectations empower others if guided by love.

    Be a people blossomer!

Seven Expectation Maximizers
  1. Seize opportunities purposely to expose your positive observations and express your realistic expectation of the person.

    PAST: Say, "You just did [description] and [pause to allow your comment to sink in]
    PRESENT: that makes me feel [emotion-reaction]; [pause]
    FUTURE: I believe you are becoming/growing into [expectation]."

    Endear yourself to the person through appropriate affection or touch.

  2. Express high expectations creatively through
    • prayer (Eph. 3:14-21)
    • say it directly ... phone calls
    • write it (2 Tim. 1:5) ... cards
    • say it indirectly ... make them look good before others
    • gifts

  3. Pick your words precisely.

  4. Establish eye contact directly.

  5. Communicate expectations with your body language carefully — lean forward, palms up.

  6. Touch others appropriately. We all crave human touch.

  7. Set expectations confidently. With the proper encouragement, people usually rise to the occasion.

Five-Step Expectation Method
How to "blossom" someone with expectation:
  1. Examine - pay close attention to the person you want to blossom
  2. Expose - what he did specifically
  3. Emotion - describe how his act makes you feel
  4. Expect - tell him what you expect of him in the future
  5. Endear - through appropriate touch


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Alan's Gleanings | October 2011 by Alan S.L. Wong